1 00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:52,708 It's Czech. 2 00:00:52,752 --> 00:00:58,190 Woolworth's used to sell these for thruppence. That's about what they're worth now. 3 00:01:01,294 --> 00:01:05,128 I think we've got time for one more, haven't we, Mr. Cobbold? 4 00:01:05,165 --> 00:01:06,632 Hm. 5 00:01:09,836 --> 00:01:14,398 Do you remember me? I brought you the Staffordshire dogs last month 6 00:01:14,441 --> 00:01:17,342 - which you said weren't. - Yes, Mrs. Er...? 7 00:01:17,377 --> 00:01:19,971 - Ives. - Mrs. Ives. And what is it today? 8 00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:24,677 I'm not quite sure. My late husband said it was a guinea pouch. 9 00:01:24,717 --> 00:01:27,515 Yes, it isn't. 10 00:01:27,554 --> 00:01:29,545 Then what is it? 11 00:01:30,323 --> 00:01:34,589 Well, it's made of linen and calfskin. 12 00:01:37,163 --> 00:01:39,791 Have we stumped you, Lovejoy? 13 00:01:39,833 --> 00:01:42,961 Well, only for the right words, Mrs. Bannerman. 14 00:01:43,002 --> 00:01:45,163 It's not a pouch. 15 00:01:47,273 --> 00:01:51,107 Actually, it's an early contraceptive device. 16 00:01:51,144 --> 00:01:56,275 Dealers call them guinea pouches or sovereign purses in order to sell them. 17 00:01:57,317 --> 00:02:01,378 - Not a lot of call for antique rubber johnnies. - (Laughter) 18 00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:07,422 Unhappily, this is the last roadshow we shall have with Mr. Lovejoy 19 00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:10,725 as he's off to pastures new at the end of the week, 20 00:02:10,763 --> 00:02:13,698 leaving us enriched and stimulated. 21 00:02:14,701 --> 00:02:20,435 You go with the knowledge that all the members of the Wisley Green Women's Institute 22 00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:23,067 have enjoyed you immensely. 23 00:02:23,109 --> 00:02:25,600 (Applause) 24 00:02:28,114 --> 00:02:31,242 I don't think that came out the way she meant it. 25 00:02:31,284 --> 00:02:33,445 Ooh, thank you. 26 00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:36,853 I have enjoyed these quiet afternoons. 27 00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:43,420 Surrounded by nice people talking about their hydrangeas and swapping chutney recipes. 28 00:02:43,463 --> 00:02:48,093 Makes a welcome change from the conniving backstabbing avaricious alcoholics 29 00:02:48,134 --> 00:02:49,965 that populate the antique trade. 30 00:02:51,271 --> 00:02:53,501 - Shall we? - Why not. 31 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:26,604 Do you believe this? Lovejoy, banged up. 32 00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:29,932 Wrongly, as it happens. 33 00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:38,510 This weather'll keep the punters away. 34 00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:40,917 Fewer bids, cheaper prices. 35 00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:43,855 Look at this, 178. 36 00:03:46,192 --> 00:03:49,059 16th century Elizabethan miniature. 37 00:03:50,463 --> 00:03:52,658 - Oh, that's quite lovely. - Mm. 38 00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:58,765 Possibly Hilliard. Do you feel palpitations in your chest? 39 00:03:58,805 --> 00:04:03,299 Do you hear the chime of heavenly bells in your lugholes, Lovejoy? 40 00:04:03,343 --> 00:04:04,833 Yeah. 41 00:04:04,877 --> 00:04:07,778 Then it obviously is a Hilliard. 42 00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:09,805 Unless it's that. 43 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:14,914 - Hideous! - Not from where I'm standing. 44 00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:20,950 A bit glossy for the shires, wouldn't you say? 45 00:04:21,728 --> 00:04:23,218 Hm? 46 00:04:25,632 --> 00:04:27,964 - You interested? - (Foreign accent) Excuse me? 47 00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:29,992 Are you thinking of making a bid? 48 00:04:30,036 --> 00:04:32,766 I'm not sure. It's listed as Chippendale. 49 00:04:32,805 --> 00:04:35,740 - I can't place it. - Surely, 18th century? 50 00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:39,370 No, the accent. I know it's EEC, I just can't think where. 51 00:04:39,412 --> 00:04:42,040 - I am from Holland. - Long way from home. 52 00:04:42,081 --> 00:04:46,518 - I live in London. - If you've come for a bargain, this isn't it. 53 00:04:46,552 --> 00:04:50,249 Look. See where these screw holes have been filled in? 54 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:54,351 - But it's oak. - Yeah, nicked from a World War I cupboard. 55 00:04:54,394 --> 00:04:58,228 See how much paler the shrinkage lines are round the edges? 56 00:04:58,264 --> 00:05:01,392 - Thank you, Mr...? - No "Mr.", just "Lovejoy". 57 00:05:01,434 --> 00:05:04,198 - Lovejoy Antiques. - Renata Van Der Zee. 58 00:05:04,237 --> 00:05:09,504 Well, Renata, you've picked a very bad day. Most of this stuff is from Granny's attic. 59 00:05:09,542 --> 00:05:13,876 You'd be better off in the snug of the White Hart Hotel. Shall we? 60 00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:20,777 Oh, erm... I'll catch up with you, OK? Don't break the bank on the Hilliard. 61 00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:25,621 You can't afford lunch in the White Hart Hotel with a woman of her taste. 62 00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:27,649 We're going Dutch. 63 00:05:37,570 --> 00:05:42,769 You could argue, I suppose, that I've done a few shady things so it all equals out. 64 00:05:42,809 --> 00:05:49,044 But you didn't have to spend eight months here sleeping next to a tattooed biker called Mavis. 65 00:05:49,882 --> 00:05:53,818 I've read a lot. And I've started writing a book - on Spode. 66 00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:59,553 But mostly I've wondered who set me up. Now, I'm not thinking about revenge, 67 00:05:59,592 --> 00:06:05,292 I'm wondering if there's any money involved, and if so, where's mine? 68 00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:09,563 (Man) Come on, Lovejoy, let's have you. We need the bed! 69 00:06:15,675 --> 00:06:18,109 - (Sighs) - I'll miss you, Lovejoy. 70 00:06:18,144 --> 00:06:20,135 I'll miss you too, Mavis. 71 00:06:21,013 --> 00:06:23,345 Thanks for the Motorhead t-shirt. 72 00:06:25,852 --> 00:06:28,082 - Ta-ta! - See you, Lovejoy. 73 00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:30,112 I hope not. 74 00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:39,461 (Car horn honks) 75 00:06:48,007 --> 00:06:49,998 Oh, Janey! 76 00:06:50,042 --> 00:06:53,034 (Laughs) 77 00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:56,173 - Oh, it's good to see you. - It's good to see you. 78 00:06:56,215 --> 00:06:58,479 I didn't expect this, I'm touched. 79 00:06:58,518 --> 00:07:01,817 I was vaguely in the area looking at a horse so... 80 00:07:01,854 --> 00:07:03,845 It's appreciated. 81 00:07:03,890 --> 00:07:08,827 And so were your letters - the schoolgirl scrawl and the hint of lavender on the notepaper. 82 00:07:08,861 --> 00:07:12,627 Perhaps a hint of lavender's a little dangerous in prison. 83 00:07:12,665 --> 00:07:14,826 Well, I read about it. Pig farm. 84 00:07:16,969 --> 00:07:19,597 I must say, you look awfully well. 85 00:07:19,639 --> 00:07:23,632 Haven't had a drink for eight months and I've played a lot of tennis. 86 00:07:23,676 --> 00:07:26,338 Tennis?! Really? That's scandalous. 87 00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:29,940 - Why? - Well, people do go to prison to be punished 88 00:07:29,982 --> 00:07:33,509 it seems rather inappropriate that they play tennis. 89 00:07:33,553 --> 00:07:36,818 If it's any consolation we didn't have ballboys. 90 00:07:36,856 --> 00:07:40,223 As soon as I make some money I'm gonna donate a net. 91 00:07:43,763 --> 00:07:47,597 We'll both have the smoked salmon and then the lamb. OK? 92 00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:50,329 - Your treat, Janey. - Thank you, ma'am. 93 00:07:50,369 --> 00:07:54,601 Now, have you given any thought as to where you're going to live? 94 00:07:54,640 --> 00:08:00,078 Tinker's offered me a bed but I think I might stay at the Cross Keys for a few nights. 95 00:08:00,112 --> 00:08:06,108 There is the possibility you could have one of our estate cottages. Could be quite nice. 96 00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:09,280 But Alexander's not going to be terribly keen. 97 00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:13,520 Why? He's always known there's nothing going on between us. 98 00:08:13,559 --> 00:08:17,859 All the same, he is a J.P. And you are now a convicted felon. 99 00:08:17,897 --> 00:08:20,263 What was the charge, again? 100 00:08:20,299 --> 00:08:22,494 Trading in stolen goods! 101 00:08:23,569 --> 00:08:28,597 Oh, yes, I think one or two of the bigger dealers might be a little bit wary. 102 00:08:28,641 --> 00:08:33,010 It'll be dead easy to get credit. My liquid assets are nonexistent. 103 00:08:33,045 --> 00:08:35,377 All this sounds horribly familiar. 104 00:08:35,414 --> 00:08:39,145 You've always been broke and you've always had a tarnished reputation. 105 00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:41,653 - Whoever set me up used that. - What? 106 00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:46,681 They needed someone in the trade whose reputation was a bit iffy. 107 00:08:48,461 --> 00:08:50,452 Thank you. 108 00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:59,603 - Thank you. - When this ghastly business happened, 109 00:08:59,639 --> 00:09:03,268 Alexander and I were in America but when I heard about it 110 00:09:03,309 --> 00:09:07,302 I have to be honest, I didn't immediately presume that you were innocent. 111 00:09:07,346 --> 00:09:09,610 That really hurts. 112 00:09:09,649 --> 00:09:14,109 But then, of course, when I thought about it, I realized you had to be. 113 00:09:14,153 --> 00:09:17,953 - Would you like some horseradish? - No, not with salmon. 114 00:09:17,990 --> 00:09:21,517 - I love it. Could I have the horseradish? - Certainly, ma'am. 115 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,552 Oh, and the, um... 116 00:09:23,596 --> 00:09:25,393 Yes, ma'am. 117 00:09:25,431 --> 00:09:29,834 I did hear, without any great surprise, that there was a woman involved. 118 00:09:37,043 --> 00:09:42,174 About a week after I met Miss Holland in King's Lynn... she called me. 119 00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:47,077 Asked me to drive over to Oxfordshire. 120 00:09:47,119 --> 00:09:51,818 She had a business proposition and she was sure the trip would be worth my while. 121 00:10:09,008 --> 00:10:13,502 - Good morning. You're very punctual. - Hope you've got the kettle on. 122 00:10:16,983 --> 00:10:19,713 - You own this place? - I'm a partner. 123 00:10:19,752 --> 00:10:21,743 I'm not here every day. 124 00:10:22,722 --> 00:10:26,214 - Where is he then? - If you're as gifted as people say, 125 00:10:26,258 --> 00:10:28,226 you'll find it. 126 00:10:28,260 --> 00:10:29,989 (Sighs) 127 00:10:30,029 --> 00:10:32,395 Om-ni-om-ni... Cold. 128 00:10:32,431 --> 00:10:35,559 Om-ni-om-ni-om-ni... Getting warmer. 129 00:10:35,601 --> 00:10:37,626 Om-ni-om-ni-om-ni... 130 00:10:37,670 --> 00:10:41,663 Getting very warm. It's the Jacob, isn't it? 131 00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:44,907 Good old Georgie Jacob. 132 00:10:46,012 --> 00:10:52,576 I saw one of these before. They don't often turn up in sale rooms. Where'd you find it? 133 00:10:52,618 --> 00:10:55,280 Someone who's paying off his father's death duties. 134 00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:58,654 I've paid a deposit. He wants 35,000. 135 00:10:58,691 --> 00:11:01,182 - Bite his hand off. - Excuse me? 136 00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:05,561 It means make the deal fast. Who is this guy? 137 00:11:05,598 --> 00:11:10,194 I don't think I should tell you. You might offer him 40. 138 00:11:10,236 --> 00:11:14,673 - Probably would if I had the money. - I've spoken to a man in Antwerp. 139 00:11:14,707 --> 00:11:18,803 He wants to see it. I would like you to take it there. 140 00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:24,878 - Moi? - I'll pay £500 advance against 5% commission. 141 00:11:26,952 --> 00:11:30,888 Why is it that whenever people want me to do something for them 142 00:11:30,923 --> 00:11:33,016 there's always a little wrinkle attached? 143 00:11:33,059 --> 00:11:37,393 You were hoping I'll sell this before you have to pay the balance? 144 00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:42,595 - Do you have a problem with that? - Just don't tell him it's leaving the country. 145 00:11:42,635 --> 00:11:46,833 You could leave the country in the morning and be back tomorrow night. 146 00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:50,865 - Customs would want to see a bill of sale. - I'll give you one. 147 00:11:52,845 --> 00:11:56,781 Why don't you come with me? You can keep an eye on it and me. 148 00:11:56,816 --> 00:12:00,274 You're a dealer, Lovejoy, that's your business. 149 00:12:00,319 --> 00:12:03,049 And you will make a better deal than me. 150 00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:05,885 - Yeah. - Yes? 151 00:12:05,925 --> 00:12:06,914 Yeah. 152 00:12:08,894 --> 00:12:13,092 Next day I was in Belgium, after the customary nightmare trip 153 00:12:13,132 --> 00:12:16,761 on a British car ferry full of crying babies and vomiting yobs. 154 00:12:19,171 --> 00:12:21,162 Made for Napoleon, you say? 155 00:12:21,207 --> 00:12:26,144 A present for Josephine. Probably find one of her hairpins in that drawer. 156 00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,708 The veneer is a little cracked. 157 00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:33,984 I'd be more suspicious if it wasn't. 158 00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:38,246 It is rather nice. 159 00:12:38,290 --> 00:12:40,281 Isn't it? 160 00:12:40,326 --> 00:12:42,317 I'm tempted. 161 00:12:42,361 --> 00:12:44,022 Good. 162 00:12:44,864 --> 00:12:47,662 I might have to do a little restoration. 163 00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:50,931 Well, I wouldn't do too much if I was you. 164 00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:53,495 I may have it on my hands for some time. 165 00:12:53,539 --> 00:12:56,804 - (Tuts) - Well, it won't lose its value, will it? 166 00:12:57,977 --> 00:12:59,968 I am tempted. 167 00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:05,380 Look... there's bound to be some Ping Pong involved in this deal 168 00:13:05,417 --> 00:13:08,909 so throw out a figure and we'll start from there. 169 00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:10,945 I'm only here for the day. 170 00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:19,290 75,000. 171 00:13:19,331 --> 00:13:21,663 - Belgian francs? - US. 172 00:13:21,700 --> 00:13:23,691 What's that in sterling? 173 00:13:25,171 --> 00:13:27,867 I think today's rate is 1.67. 174 00:13:27,907 --> 00:13:29,568 1.65. 175 00:13:34,413 --> 00:13:37,610 Almost £45,500. 176 00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,641 Is that a Flemish joke? 177 00:13:40,519 --> 00:13:43,147 I think that's a very reasonable offer. 178 00:13:43,189 --> 00:13:48,718 Darling, put on a large pot of coffee. We're only at the dawn of these negotiations. 179 00:13:56,769 --> 00:13:58,930 Lovejoy has returned. 180 00:13:58,971 --> 00:14:03,567 With a bottle of Bols for you, Tink. And... 181 00:14:04,777 --> 00:14:06,938 - these are for you, Eric. - Ahh. 182 00:14:09,815 --> 00:14:12,283 - Chocolates. - Belgian chocolates. 183 00:14:12,318 --> 00:14:14,309 In the shape of sea shells. 184 00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:17,550 But I don't eat chocolate. Or shellfish. 185 00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:21,526 Fine. I'll have a large Scotch, and fill these two up. 186 00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:25,155 - Are we celebrating? - We certainly are, my old son. 187 00:14:25,197 --> 00:14:30,567 I have here a check for the delightful Miss Van Der Zee, to the tune of £57,000, 188 00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:34,095 - which means she owes me £2,850. - (Tinker whistles) 189 00:14:34,139 --> 00:14:37,233 These are splendid times we live in. 190 00:14:37,276 --> 00:14:40,074 Yeah, and all I get is a box of chocolates. 191 00:14:40,112 --> 00:14:43,912 I shall invest in a bottle of Moet and a can of assorted nuts. 192 00:14:43,949 --> 00:14:46,850 Coming round, is she, to show her gratitude? 193 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:49,855 Whatever she shows will be worth looking at. 194 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,880 Hey! Oi! Hey! 195 00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:56,317 - Did she turn up? - No, didn't even telephone. 196 00:14:56,362 --> 00:15:00,128 Hm. It's not often Lovejoy gets a no-show, is it? 197 00:15:00,165 --> 00:15:03,157 Especially when I've got 57 grand waiting for them. 198 00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:08,498 So after a couple of days I went looking for her. 199 00:15:20,786 --> 00:15:22,447 - Hello. - (Both) Good morning. 200 00:15:22,488 --> 00:15:24,649 I'm looking for a Miss Van Der Zee. 201 00:15:24,690 --> 00:15:27,989 Van Der Zee? That's a very unusual... 202 00:15:28,027 --> 00:15:30,291 Name, isn't it? Dutch, I imagine. 203 00:15:30,329 --> 00:15:32,320 Er, Renata Van Der Zee. 204 00:15:32,364 --> 00:15:35,856 Renata? Don't think I've ever known a Renata. 205 00:15:35,901 --> 00:15:40,861 Yes you have, Markie. Shrewsbury Rep. Or was it Westcliffe? 206 00:15:40,906 --> 00:15:45,343 - We were in the theater, you see. - Yes, hold on a minute, Marigold. 207 00:15:45,377 --> 00:15:47,368 Yes, she was the A.S.M. And... 208 00:15:47,413 --> 00:15:50,507 Yes, and it was Shrewsbury. Uncle Vanya. 209 00:15:50,549 --> 00:15:55,384 - We never did Uncle Vanya in Shrewsbury. - Really? I could have sworn... 210 00:15:55,421 --> 00:15:58,151 This Renata is a partner in this business. 211 00:15:58,190 --> 00:16:01,523 (Marigold) Oh, you're wrong there. We are the sole... 212 00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:06,327 Proprietors, yes. Mark and Marigold Paynter, proprietors. 213 00:16:06,365 --> 00:16:10,267 - It says so outside. - I met her in this very room last Monday. 214 00:16:11,603 --> 00:16:15,801 No, no, you've got it all wrong. You've got the wrong place. 215 00:16:15,841 --> 00:16:17,832 We're closed on Mondays. 216 00:16:21,013 --> 00:16:24,039 - Do you have a photo of her? - No, I don't. Why? 217 00:16:24,083 --> 00:16:28,281 I could flash it round the sale rooms, cos you met her in a sale room. 218 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:32,450 - Way off our patch. - D'you reckon she's stitched you up? 219 00:16:32,491 --> 00:16:35,085 I don't see how she could come out ahead. 220 00:16:35,127 --> 00:16:38,119 (Eric) She might be in trouble. Danger, like. 221 00:16:40,933 --> 00:16:43,333 (Siren wailing) 222 00:16:43,369 --> 00:16:45,360 Peel rubber, let's lose 'em! 223 00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:49,332 Ohh. 224 00:16:54,646 --> 00:16:56,637 Ah, Lovejoy. 225 00:16:58,250 --> 00:17:01,651 You took a valuable antique to Belgium this week? 226 00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:03,678 Yes, I did. 227 00:17:03,722 --> 00:17:05,713 "Table du toilet." 228 00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:08,022 Empire, ormolu mounted. 229 00:17:08,060 --> 00:17:12,258 Burr Elm, made by Georges Jacob circa 1808. 230 00:17:12,297 --> 00:17:14,663 - It was nicked. - No, it wasn't. 231 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:19,399 I'm not an idiot when it comes to carrying something that distinctive. 232 00:17:19,438 --> 00:17:24,273 It wasn't reported till yesterday when the owner returned from Scotland. 233 00:17:24,309 --> 00:17:26,937 A Mr. Michael Seymour? 234 00:17:28,113 --> 00:17:30,274 Michael Seymour. I've done business with him. 235 00:17:30,315 --> 00:17:32,306 I know you have. 236 00:17:32,351 --> 00:17:34,342 You know that house. 237 00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:36,854 And what's in it. And how to get it out. 238 00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:41,223 Let's cut the bullshit. I was acting on behalf of another party. 239 00:17:41,260 --> 00:17:45,356 I was instructed - by her - to take a piece to Belgium and sell it 240 00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:50,630 which I did, and I have here a check drawn in her name by the dealer in Antwerp. 241 00:18:00,212 --> 00:18:02,612 You're gonna need a brief, Lovejoy. 242 00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:07,779 - Didn't you watch him write the check? - I did. 243 00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:10,288 He must've switched it before I left. 244 00:18:10,322 --> 00:18:14,418 - Then you know he was implicated? - Certain. No proof. 245 00:18:14,460 --> 00:18:18,226 - And no sight of the lovely Renata since. - Nope. 246 00:18:19,064 --> 00:18:22,500 - Without her you didn't have much of a case. - None. 247 00:18:22,534 --> 00:18:27,494 Why go to so much trouble to... finger you - is that the expression? 248 00:18:27,539 --> 00:18:33,034 Well, I intend to find out. First, I've got to square things with Michael Seymour. 249 00:18:33,078 --> 00:18:37,515 It is slightly embarrassing - Alexander and I see Michael socially. 250 00:18:37,549 --> 00:18:39,540 I do business with him. 251 00:18:39,585 --> 00:18:44,079 It's rather frightening knowing somebody wanted you out of the way. 252 00:18:45,090 --> 00:18:49,356 I know somebody who wants us both out of the way. 253 00:18:49,394 --> 00:18:51,225 Who? 254 00:18:51,263 --> 00:18:54,130 The waiter. Pay the bill. 255 00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:11,844 Look, if you're desperate, you know where the cottage is. 256 00:19:11,884 --> 00:19:15,115 - I'll sort things out with Alexander. - Thanks. 257 00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:17,486 And for lunch. And for picking me up. 258 00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:21,926 - I'm sure everyone will rally round. - It's Friday, isn't it? 259 00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:25,259 Lot 47, ladies and gentlemen, offered as a pair. 260 00:19:25,297 --> 00:19:29,563 Two vinaigrettes. One a silver gilt of about 1820, 261 00:19:29,601 --> 00:19:34,402 the other a fine piece of Georgian silver by William Pugh of Birmingham. 262 00:19:34,439 --> 00:19:37,203 Will anybody start me off? £200. 263 00:19:38,043 --> 00:19:39,738 250. 264 00:19:39,778 --> 00:19:41,211 300. 265 00:19:42,314 --> 00:19:43,781 350. 266 00:19:43,815 --> 00:19:47,444 Still showing at £350 to the young gentleman. 267 00:19:47,486 --> 00:19:50,319 (Whispers) What are you doing? Are you mad? 268 00:19:50,355 --> 00:19:54,451 (Auctioneer) Come along, we can do better than this. Yes, 400. 269 00:19:55,661 --> 00:19:57,253 Lovejoy. 270 00:19:57,296 --> 00:19:59,696 (Laughs) 271 00:19:59,731 --> 00:20:02,063 Nice to see you. You bidding today? 272 00:20:02,100 --> 00:20:04,159 Not today, thank you. 273 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:08,833 Still showing at £400. Sold to the gentleman at the back. 274 00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:10,967 (Laughing) 275 00:20:13,745 --> 00:20:17,977 Believe it or not, the governor's wife had a little antique shop. 276 00:20:18,016 --> 00:20:22,350 Before long I was giving lectures down the Women's Institute. 277 00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:25,413 So it wasn't exactly hard time then, Lovejoy? 278 00:20:25,457 --> 00:20:28,585 It was still prison, Eric. Chalking off the days 279 00:20:28,627 --> 00:20:33,929 and wondering how to get rid of the smell of carbolic and overcooked cabbage. 280 00:20:33,966 --> 00:20:38,994 On the subject of restoring your reputation, there's somebody wants to talk to you. 281 00:20:39,037 --> 00:20:41,767 - The Pope? - Old Andy Coote. 282 00:20:41,807 --> 00:20:45,174 - Andy Coote the fence? - He's gone straight. 283 00:20:45,210 --> 00:20:50,580 He grabbed me at the Wool Pack and said he's got something to tell you. 284 00:20:50,616 --> 00:20:53,949 I've been talking to people as well about the case. 285 00:20:53,986 --> 00:20:58,355 Digging around, asking questions. Subtle but to the point, like. 286 00:20:58,390 --> 00:20:59,880 And? 287 00:21:01,393 --> 00:21:03,953 - What did you come up with? - Nothing. 288 00:21:05,163 --> 00:21:07,154 They all think you did it. 289 00:21:07,866 --> 00:21:09,231 (Tinker) Hmm. 290 00:21:40,632 --> 00:21:44,693 Ohh... You know, I dreamed that you traded this in... 291 00:21:44,736 --> 00:21:48,172 for something with a seat and a heater. 292 00:21:48,206 --> 00:21:51,141 When I pull a big score I'm gonna get a Harley. 293 00:21:51,176 --> 00:21:53,144 In the meantime, get a cushion. 294 00:23:49,895 --> 00:23:52,455 (♪ Easy listening saxophone playing) 295 00:24:00,539 --> 00:24:02,803 - Oh! - Good evening! 296 00:24:02,841 --> 00:24:06,470 You were in the pub earlier, then you tailed me back home. 297 00:24:06,511 --> 00:24:09,344 Are you too shy to ask me something, Officer? 298 00:24:14,586 --> 00:24:19,785 - Police Constable Bainbridge. - Constable Bainbridge, what's this about? 299 00:24:19,825 --> 00:24:24,194 - Your breaking and entering. - That was hours ago, you waiting for backup? 300 00:24:24,229 --> 00:24:26,561 - And illegal trespass. - You're grasping at straws. 301 00:24:26,598 --> 00:24:29,658 You're on surveillance, harassing an innocent man. 302 00:24:29,701 --> 00:24:33,831 All right, how about physical assault of a police officer? 303 00:24:33,872 --> 00:24:36,636 - Give me a break. - Look... 304 00:24:36,675 --> 00:24:39,769 make your call, then we can all get some sleep. 305 00:24:41,813 --> 00:24:45,613 The trouble with Bali is it is so seductive. 306 00:24:45,650 --> 00:24:49,347 I literally went there for a month - to finish my novel - 307 00:24:49,387 --> 00:24:53,585 four months later I was still there, hadn't written a page. 308 00:24:53,625 --> 00:24:56,788 Oh, my agent was in a terrible panic. 309 00:24:56,828 --> 00:25:01,561 He had to invent various tropical diseases to fend off the publishers. 310 00:25:02,567 --> 00:25:07,595 - Do you always write where your book is set? - No, I'm hopeless at research. 311 00:25:07,639 --> 00:25:12,838 But I do like to get out of London. I was thinking of renting somewhere round here. 312 00:25:12,878 --> 00:25:18,475 - Really? You know, we do have a cottage. - Oh, no, darling, that hasn't got a roof. 313 00:25:18,517 --> 00:25:22,419 It'll need rethatching in a year or two but it's quite sound. 314 00:25:22,454 --> 00:25:25,855 Thatch? Oh, that sounds charming. 315 00:25:25,891 --> 00:25:31,693 - (Alexander) It's got a garden, a barn... - Full of rats, that barn, and always damp. 316 00:25:31,730 --> 00:25:34,665 - (Phone) - Excuse me. 317 00:25:36,067 --> 00:25:40,231 Jane's painting a dreary picture, it's actually quite quaint. 318 00:25:40,272 --> 00:25:43,435 - Well, I'd love to see it. - So you shall. 319 00:25:45,310 --> 00:25:47,175 7265. 320 00:25:47,212 --> 00:25:49,203 Sergeant who? 321 00:25:52,384 --> 00:25:54,318 (Quietly) Yes. Yes. 322 00:25:54,352 --> 00:25:57,913 Yes, that's absolutely true, he is there with my permission. 323 00:25:58,957 --> 00:26:01,391 Not at all. Good night. 324 00:26:02,661 --> 00:26:06,324 - Who was it, darling? - Just one of the village ladies. 325 00:26:06,364 --> 00:26:09,629 - I just thought I heard you say "sergeant". - I did. 326 00:26:09,668 --> 00:26:12,660 It was Mrs. Sergeant - Betty Sergeant. 327 00:26:12,704 --> 00:26:18,700 She's organizing this thing in the church hall, we're saving he rainforests. 328 00:26:18,743 --> 00:26:20,904 Are we all right for wine? 329 00:26:29,888 --> 00:26:31,788 Stop! 330 00:26:35,026 --> 00:26:37,392 (Sighs) I'll walk from here. 331 00:26:37,429 --> 00:26:40,956 There's no point being embarrassed, about these wheels, Lovejoy, 332 00:26:40,999 --> 00:26:45,163 cos until you get your own, this is all the motoring you're gonna be doing. 333 00:26:45,203 --> 00:26:47,933 Thank you, Eric. I needed that. 334 00:27:01,052 --> 00:27:03,111 - Lovejoy. - Hello, Michael. 335 00:27:03,154 --> 00:27:05,145 It's good of you to see me. 336 00:27:05,190 --> 00:27:07,181 You're looking very fit. 337 00:27:07,225 --> 00:27:09,216 So everyone tells me. 338 00:27:09,260 --> 00:27:11,660 (Chuckles) Come on. 339 00:27:16,501 --> 00:27:19,334 Thanks you, Mrs. Gooch. How do you take it? 340 00:27:19,371 --> 00:27:21,362 Black, without. 341 00:27:23,742 --> 00:27:26,233 Michael, I came here to clear the air. 342 00:27:27,112 --> 00:27:29,842 I had nothing to do with robbing your house. 343 00:27:29,881 --> 00:27:34,011 I didn't know the Jacob was yours, I didn't even know it was stolen. 344 00:27:34,052 --> 00:27:39,183 If that were true it would appear there's been a grave miscarriage of justice. 345 00:27:39,224 --> 00:27:42,682 If I had turned your house over, I wouldn't have taken what was nicked. 346 00:27:42,727 --> 00:27:44,558 I would have taken these. 347 00:27:44,596 --> 00:27:48,794 Ah, now losing those, that really would have broken my heart. 348 00:27:48,833 --> 00:27:52,826 Apart from the Jacob, did you get the rest of the stuff back? 349 00:27:52,871 --> 00:27:54,862 Sadly, no. 350 00:27:54,906 --> 00:28:00,173 Local plod put a tail on me yesterday. Probably hoping I'll lead them to the loot. 351 00:28:00,211 --> 00:28:02,042 - (Knock at door) - Yes? 352 00:28:03,248 --> 00:28:07,116 - We're supposed to sweep the chimney, sir. - Yes, of course, come in. 353 00:28:07,152 --> 00:28:09,712 Lovejoy, go through to the main hall. 354 00:28:09,754 --> 00:28:14,782 Um, now, I know everybody says this but you will be very careful, won't you? 355 00:28:14,826 --> 00:28:17,488 - Of course, sir. - I'm sure you will. 356 00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:33,807 (Chuckles) Like a moth to a flame. The cause of all your misfortunes. 357 00:28:33,845 --> 00:28:37,406 - It wasn't here before. - No, it was in my wife's room. 358 00:28:37,449 --> 00:28:41,317 That's why I didn't know about it. A room I never went into. 359 00:28:41,352 --> 00:28:45,118 - I didn't get in there much myself. - Oh, dear. Past tense? 360 00:28:45,156 --> 00:28:49,593 We agreed to go our separate ways. Anyway... it's better down here. 361 00:28:49,627 --> 00:28:52,824 I felt it deserved a... a wider audience. 362 00:28:53,865 --> 00:28:58,199 Well, you must admit, I took good care of it for you. 363 00:28:59,003 --> 00:29:01,335 I've no complaints on that score. 364 00:29:01,372 --> 00:29:04,569 I was more concerned about the police bringing it back from Belgium. 365 00:29:04,609 --> 00:29:08,204 They're not the sort of chaps who respect a word like "fragile". 366 00:29:08,246 --> 00:29:11,238 Michael... you do believe me, don't you? 367 00:29:12,884 --> 00:29:18,186 My instincts tell me you've had a bad break. I think we should put it all behind us. 368 00:29:19,224 --> 00:29:22,751 If I can put any business your way, I won't hesitate. 369 00:29:24,362 --> 00:29:26,353 I appreciate that. 370 00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:31,831 Have you any idea who set you up? Any leads? 371 00:29:31,870 --> 00:29:35,067 Very few. I know old Andy Coote wants to tell me something. 372 00:29:35,106 --> 00:29:39,566 Coote? Oh, yes. He's been inside himself, hasn't he? 373 00:29:40,779 --> 00:29:44,442 - It's probably just gossip. - Yeah, probably. 374 00:29:49,354 --> 00:29:51,083 (Laughs) 375 00:29:51,990 --> 00:29:55,118 - What are you doing with Miriam? - Miriam who? 376 00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:57,822 Miriam Morris, she was my very first car. 377 00:29:57,862 --> 00:30:00,854 I named her after my nanny, who I adored. 378 00:30:00,899 --> 00:30:04,494 - You've had something nesting in it. - Miriam Morris? 379 00:30:04,536 --> 00:30:07,471 - Didn't you give your things names? - No, I didn't. 380 00:30:07,505 --> 00:30:12,306 Where I come from I wouldn't have survived long if I'd called my bike Beatrice. 381 00:30:12,343 --> 00:30:15,244 - Lovejoy, about the cottage. - Oh, I love it. 382 00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:19,182 I feel very at home here. I can use the barn as my workshop. 383 00:30:19,217 --> 00:30:22,880 - What happened to the key? - Perhaps Alexander took it. 384 00:30:22,921 --> 00:30:24,946 Have you squared this with Alexander yet? 385 00:30:24,989 --> 00:30:28,049 Not in so many words. The timing wasn't right. 386 00:30:28,092 --> 00:30:32,290 You know, I will pay rent once I've turned things around. 387 00:30:32,330 --> 00:30:34,457 He'd insist on something down. 388 00:30:34,499 --> 00:30:39,402 He's almost promised it to this ghastly lady novelist, Harriet Barker. 389 00:30:39,437 --> 00:30:42,770 I read one of her novel in nick. Torrid stuff, Jane. 390 00:30:42,807 --> 00:30:45,742 So much sex - she obviously isn't getting any. 391 00:30:45,777 --> 00:30:48,837 - Probably why Alexander wants her here. - What? 392 00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:50,871 Just a joke. 393 00:31:00,658 --> 00:31:05,994 - Excuse me, I'm looking for Andy Coote. - Cootey? He'll be up on the playing fields. 394 00:31:06,030 --> 00:31:08,658 Or in the cricket pavilion having a kip. 395 00:31:08,700 --> 00:31:12,898 He's popular today. Someone else has been asking after him. 396 00:31:12,937 --> 00:31:16,498 - When was that? - Ooh... a few minutes ago? 397 00:31:17,675 --> 00:31:19,643 Thank you. 398 00:31:45,737 --> 00:31:47,329 Cootey! 399 00:32:14,632 --> 00:32:16,293 (Yells) 400 00:32:28,713 --> 00:32:30,203 (Groans) 401 00:32:43,261 --> 00:32:46,230 Thanks, Lovejoy. Nick did you a bit of good. 402 00:32:46,264 --> 00:32:48,425 You're fitter than you used to be. 403 00:32:48,466 --> 00:32:50,525 - Who was that? - No idea. 404 00:32:50,568 --> 00:32:53,059 - What did he want? - Wanted to know what I was gonna tell you. 405 00:32:53,104 --> 00:32:56,938 - Did you tell him? - I might've done if you hadn't shown up. 406 00:32:56,975 --> 00:32:59,808 - (Car accelerates away) - Sorry, Cootey. 407 00:32:59,844 --> 00:33:02,813 - You OK? - Wouldn't mind a snifter. 408 00:33:08,086 --> 00:33:10,714 I used to fence for a team from the smoke. 409 00:33:10,755 --> 00:33:15,454 They turned over places in London and I'd palm the stuff off round here. 410 00:33:15,493 --> 00:33:18,587 I know, you once tried to flog me a hot commode. 411 00:33:18,629 --> 00:33:22,429 Hot commode? (Laughs) Hurts to think about it, Lovejoy! 412 00:33:22,467 --> 00:33:26,460 - Yeah, go on. - I don't do it now, missus'd kill me. 413 00:33:26,504 --> 00:33:29,064 But one thing they showed me I've kept, 414 00:33:29,107 --> 00:33:31,439 hidden away till you came out. 415 00:33:31,476 --> 00:33:34,104 It's, um, a little watercolor. 416 00:33:35,079 --> 00:33:37,445 William Callow. 417 00:33:37,482 --> 00:33:40,280 One of those was taken from Seymour's. 418 00:33:40,318 --> 00:33:43,617 That's right, but it wasn't nicked from Seymour's place, 419 00:33:43,654 --> 00:33:47,317 it came from a house in Fulham about three months ago. 420 00:33:48,326 --> 00:33:52,786 So all I'm saying is, if you find out how it happened to be in London 421 00:33:52,830 --> 00:33:55,560 you might find out who's stitching you up. 422 00:33:55,600 --> 00:34:01,300 The only person that knew I was going to see Andy Coote was Michael Seymour. 423 00:34:02,306 --> 00:34:06,675 I don't get it. That means he was involved in robbing his own place. 424 00:34:06,711 --> 00:34:11,410 - That has been known. - Like an insurance scam? Something like that? 425 00:34:11,449 --> 00:34:14,509 Michael Seymour doesn't need the insurance. 426 00:34:14,552 --> 00:34:18,044 And the stolen stuff was a very manky collection. 427 00:34:19,123 --> 00:34:22,957 Absolutely. They were all things he could live without. 428 00:34:22,994 --> 00:34:25,258 Seymour's a collector, Eric. 429 00:34:25,296 --> 00:34:30,859 He has a collector's passion. He likes to look at things. Things other people can envy. 430 00:34:30,902 --> 00:34:32,893 If he was gonna rob himself 431 00:34:32,937 --> 00:34:36,737 - he'd choose things he'd never miss. - Except the Jacob. 432 00:34:36,774 --> 00:34:39,709 He made sure he got the Jacob back, didn't he? 433 00:34:55,359 --> 00:35:00,695 Hello, I'm Lovejoy, Lovejoy Antiques. Have you had a burglary here recently? 434 00:35:00,731 --> 00:35:05,225 - Yes, we have. - Was this one of the things that was stolen? 435 00:35:05,269 --> 00:35:07,294 Oh, yes, it was! 436 00:35:07,338 --> 00:35:09,329 That belongs to my flatmate. 437 00:35:09,373 --> 00:35:11,739 Well, perhaps you'd better come in. 438 00:35:14,712 --> 00:35:17,647 Who was...? 439 00:35:17,682 --> 00:35:19,479 Hello. 440 00:35:19,517 --> 00:35:23,681 - Do you two know each other or something? - Yes, I know Renata. 441 00:35:23,721 --> 00:35:28,055 - If Renata's her real name. - Of course it is, isn't it, Renata? 442 00:35:29,227 --> 00:35:32,196 Olivia, could you leave us alone for a few moments? 443 00:35:32,230 --> 00:35:36,564 Oh, um, absolutely. I'll... make a cup of tea, shall I? 444 00:35:36,601 --> 00:35:38,091 Right. 445 00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:45,040 - (Door closes) - How did you find me? 446 00:35:45,076 --> 00:35:47,977 Well, I was trying to figure out how... 447 00:35:48,012 --> 00:35:50,139 this painting... 448 00:35:50,181 --> 00:35:54,515 ended up in this house. But I guess that's pretty obvious now. 449 00:35:54,552 --> 00:35:56,611 Was it a pay-off from Michael?? 450 00:35:58,089 --> 00:36:01,684 - It was a gift. - Oh, well, yeah, sure. 451 00:36:02,693 --> 00:36:05,856 Look, I had no idea you would go to prison. 452 00:36:05,897 --> 00:36:10,960 You take as long as you want, I've got used to killing time. 453 00:36:12,870 --> 00:36:15,566 I met Michael through Pieter Maartens. 454 00:36:15,606 --> 00:36:17,665 We became friends. 455 00:36:17,708 --> 00:36:21,701 - Well, lovers. - Can't blame Michael for that. 456 00:36:21,746 --> 00:36:25,011 He asked me to persuade you to take the dressing table to Belgium. 457 00:36:25,049 --> 00:36:27,040 I swear I don't know why. 458 00:36:28,085 --> 00:36:31,816 How did you work that scam at the antique barn in Oxford? 459 00:36:31,856 --> 00:36:34,825 I went there with a man who works for Michael. 460 00:36:34,859 --> 00:36:39,558 We put the Jacob in just before you arrived so you think I worked there. 461 00:36:39,597 --> 00:36:44,557 This man, was he short, squat, built like a pit bull?? 462 00:36:44,602 --> 00:36:47,230 Yes. Do you know him? 463 00:36:47,271 --> 00:36:49,262 I've played cricket with him. 464 00:36:50,308 --> 00:36:52,936 I have not seen Michael for many months. 465 00:36:52,977 --> 00:36:56,504 Well, you were disposable, love. Just like me. 466 00:36:56,547 --> 00:37:00,506 So, are you going to take him to the police? 467 00:37:00,551 --> 00:37:05,181 Oh, now that would be a waste. Besides... 468 00:37:05,223 --> 00:37:07,214 I hate the police. 469 00:37:08,392 --> 00:37:10,383 The police - that's it. 470 00:37:10,428 --> 00:37:13,056 - That's... it. - That is what? 471 00:37:14,098 --> 00:37:18,296 I hope Michael buys a lot tickets for their ball, cos he sure owes them a favor. 472 00:37:19,870 --> 00:37:21,895 Oh, very nice, Janey. 473 00:37:21,939 --> 00:37:25,932 Can you hang these yourself or are you absolutely useless in that area? 474 00:37:25,977 --> 00:37:27,638 Course I can, I've got Eric. 475 00:37:27,678 --> 00:37:30,374 Have you told Alexander about my being here yet? 476 00:37:30,414 --> 00:37:32,405 I haven't really had time. 477 00:37:32,450 --> 00:37:34,441 Does he know I'm out? 478 00:37:34,485 --> 00:37:36,476 Possibly not. 479 00:37:40,658 --> 00:37:43,786 Are you and he entertaining this week? 480 00:37:43,828 --> 00:37:47,855 I couldn't ask you to dinner, that would be pushing things... 481 00:37:47,898 --> 00:37:50,696 Not me, I was thinking of Michael Seymour. 482 00:37:50,735 --> 00:37:54,262 - Oh, why? - Well, you know his wife's left him. 483 00:37:54,305 --> 00:37:56,296 Poor Michael. 484 00:37:57,241 --> 00:38:01,041 Thought you might pair him off with the lady novelist. 485 00:38:01,078 --> 00:38:03,171 - What are you up to? - Nothing. 486 00:38:03,214 --> 00:38:06,911 I just want him out of the way while I break into his house. 487 00:38:06,951 --> 00:38:09,647 What? Are you insane? 488 00:38:09,687 --> 00:38:12,383 That's what you've just been in prison for. 489 00:38:12,423 --> 00:38:15,824 - (Car engine) - Yes, sort of poetic, really. 490 00:38:18,195 --> 00:38:19,685 Yo! 491 00:38:19,730 --> 00:38:21,391 (Laughs) 492 00:38:23,601 --> 00:38:26,729 - What about that? - Can I use it, Jane? I'll fix it up. 493 00:38:26,771 --> 00:38:29,706 - Who'll fix it? - We'll fix it. New tires, MOT. 494 00:38:29,740 --> 00:38:33,904 I suppose so. If you promise Miriam to take good care of her. 495 00:38:33,944 --> 00:38:35,935 Oh. I must fly. 496 00:38:35,980 --> 00:38:40,314 I'll think about the dinner party but I'm not making any promises. 497 00:38:41,919 --> 00:38:45,377 - Who the hell's Miriam? - It's her pet name for the car. 498 00:38:45,423 --> 00:38:48,392 Oh, my... We can't tool round in a car called Miriam! 499 00:38:48,426 --> 00:38:52,328 It goes, doesn't it? It's open, so I can put stuff in it. 500 00:38:52,363 --> 00:38:55,093 If the name bothers you, call it Malcolm. 501 00:38:57,702 --> 00:39:01,331 Nothing happening, just some commemorative medals. 502 00:39:01,372 --> 00:39:03,772 Never mind that, he's worked it out. 503 00:39:03,808 --> 00:39:05,799 Come into the office. 504 00:39:09,513 --> 00:39:12,744 Oh, you are gonna love this, Tink. 505 00:39:13,784 --> 00:39:18,983 The phony burglary at Seymour's was so that the Jacob could be reported stolen 506 00:39:19,023 --> 00:39:22,618 and brought back from Belgium under police custody. 507 00:39:22,660 --> 00:39:25,424 I think I do like it. A smurf. 508 00:39:25,463 --> 00:39:28,762 - A what? - Something that's not what it seems. 509 00:39:28,799 --> 00:39:32,064 - It came back a lot heavier than it went? - Exactly. 510 00:39:32,103 --> 00:39:34,298 And Customs never went near it. 511 00:39:34,338 --> 00:39:38,240 I like it so much I wish we'd thought of it ourselves. 512 00:39:42,079 --> 00:39:44,547 (All) Do you mind?! 513 00:39:46,384 --> 00:39:48,352 So what do you reckon was in it? 514 00:39:48,386 --> 00:39:52,152 Something too hot or too valuable to trust to a paid mule. 515 00:39:52,189 --> 00:39:54,623 I reckons it's something so hot it's still in there. 516 00:39:54,658 --> 00:39:58,253 Seymour only likes to take it out occasionally and look at it. 517 00:39:58,295 --> 00:40:02,959 - He's gonna break in. - I wouldn't. He's got a shiny new alarm. 518 00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:08,438 - The insurance people made him put it in. - Probably got pressure pads, heat sensors 519 00:40:08,472 --> 00:40:11,964 photo-electric cells. You open a window and - bingo! 520 00:40:12,009 --> 00:40:15,001 Chimneys are clean. Just been swept. 521 00:40:30,428 --> 00:40:33,955 He's just arrived. Lovejoy, do be careful. 522 00:40:37,868 --> 00:40:41,304 - Good evening, Jan. - Michael, good of you to come. 523 00:41:01,592 --> 00:41:04,493 Don't you think I should wait back at the pub? 524 00:41:04,528 --> 00:41:10,364 - Wheel the bike under those trees. - If I get caught I'll just say I dropped you off. 525 00:41:10,401 --> 00:41:12,392 You won't get caught, Eric. 526 00:41:37,495 --> 00:41:39,656 (Subdued conversation) 527 00:44:07,611 --> 00:44:11,707 I think you can still be surprised after 17 years. I know I was. 528 00:44:11,749 --> 00:44:17,551 It was rather unexpected. I asked my wife one day, "What would you like for your birthday?" 529 00:44:17,588 --> 00:44:22,616 She said, "A divorce?" I said, "I wasn't thinking of spending that much money". 530 00:44:22,660 --> 00:44:24,457 (All laugh) 531 00:44:57,828 --> 00:44:59,921 (Door opens) 532 00:46:20,811 --> 00:46:23,302 (Coughing) 533 00:46:35,726 --> 00:46:38,286 (Eric) Huh. I mean, it's nice... 534 00:46:38,328 --> 00:46:42,890 No, I mean, I'm not saying it's not nice but it's only a girl's head. 535 00:46:42,933 --> 00:46:45,231 It's only a girl's head by Van Dyck. 536 00:46:45,269 --> 00:46:47,260 Seymour could never sell it 537 00:46:47,304 --> 00:46:49,864 Couldn't even show it to his friends. 538 00:46:51,842 --> 00:46:55,403 Stolen from the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam, which is where it belongs. 539 00:46:55,445 --> 00:46:59,472 If you're restoring this to a grateful nation, Lovejoy, 540 00:46:59,516 --> 00:47:02,747 there should be a little tickle in it from the insurers. 541 00:47:02,786 --> 00:47:05,880 I can't be found in possession of stolen goods. 542 00:47:05,923 --> 00:47:07,914 What's in it for us then? 543 00:47:07,958 --> 00:47:10,756 "Us"? It was me that was banged up, Eric. 544 00:47:10,794 --> 00:47:16,858 I intend to be compensated for loss of income. Put a deposit on this place, settle my alimony 545 00:47:16,900 --> 00:47:21,064 and pay the final, final, final demand from the Inland Revenue. 546 00:47:21,104 --> 00:47:23,334 And get some new tires for Miriam. 547 00:47:23,373 --> 00:47:25,534 - Who's Miriam? - Don't ask. 548 00:47:26,410 --> 00:47:28,401 (Phone) 549 00:47:29,513 --> 00:47:31,003 Hello? 550 00:47:32,449 --> 00:47:34,110 Lovejoy. 551 00:47:34,151 --> 00:47:40,351 I know you're a creature of habit, Michael, so I imagine you're in front of the fire with a coffee 552 00:47:40,390 --> 00:47:42,881 and a chocolate Bath Oliver. 553 00:47:42,926 --> 00:47:47,056 I know you set me up, Michael, and I know how high the stakes were. 554 00:47:47,097 --> 00:47:53,400 I can understand jail making you bitter, Lovejoy, I didn't think it would make you stupid. 555 00:47:53,437 --> 00:47:55,667 Now, if you'll excuse me, I want to go to bed. 556 00:47:55,706 --> 00:48:00,166 Before you hit the sack... just... check the Jacob out. 557 00:48:00,210 --> 00:48:02,110 Pleasant dreams, Michael. 558 00:48:09,152 --> 00:48:11,313 (Lovejoy humming Nessun Dorma) 559 00:48:30,007 --> 00:48:32,066 (Blowing bubbles) 560 00:48:43,487 --> 00:48:47,981 Ah, that's odd. My wife must have had some workmen in. 561 00:48:48,025 --> 00:48:51,358 Oh, it's absolutely... sweet. 562 00:48:51,395 --> 00:48:54,057 We'll put in some decent furniture for you. 563 00:48:54,097 --> 00:48:58,727 It's quiet though, isn't it? No one to disturb you when the creative juices are flowing. 564 00:48:58,769 --> 00:49:03,069 Well, I hope you'll drop by - I love distractions. 565 00:49:04,107 --> 00:49:07,076 Can you smell Badedas? 566 00:49:07,110 --> 00:49:08,771 "Badedas"? 567 00:49:13,684 --> 00:49:15,515 Lovejoy! 568 00:49:16,053 --> 00:49:18,487 Alexander. Didn't Jane tell you? 569 00:49:18,522 --> 00:49:21,116 Harriet Barker - love your books. 570 00:49:26,697 --> 00:49:30,292 I think you'll find that's the sum you... suggested. 571 00:49:30,334 --> 00:49:33,565 - Good. - Don't you want your day in court? 572 00:49:33,603 --> 00:49:36,902 It wouldn't get me back the time I lost, would it? 573 00:49:36,940 --> 00:49:42,606 I'll expect to read that the Van Dyck is back in the museum by the end of the month. 574 00:49:42,646 --> 00:49:45,843 If it isn't, I will shop you. 575 00:49:45,882 --> 00:49:50,945 And don't forget I can prove that the burglary was a sham because I have Renata 576 00:49:50,988 --> 00:49:55,982 and I can also find a nice William Callow watercolor that was in your hall. 577 00:49:56,026 --> 00:50:01,225 Lovejoy, I had nothing against you personally, it's simply the business we chose. 578 00:50:01,264 --> 00:50:04,859 As the stakes get higher we get more... unscrupulous. 579 00:50:04,901 --> 00:50:08,962 Can't trust anyone, can you? Look at your friend, Maartens. 580 00:50:09,006 --> 00:50:11,634 Maartens? He kept his end of the deal. 581 00:50:11,675 --> 00:50:14,235 Did he? Take another look at the Jacob. 582 00:50:14,277 --> 00:50:16,677 I mean, it's good, it's very good... 583 00:50:17,781 --> 00:50:20,181 It's not the one I took to Belgium.